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Entry tags:
Pain
So on a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is the worst pain, Michael had been reporting his pain levels at 7 or 8 for the last few days (Sun, Mon, Tue). Tuesday, he kept asking why we didn't have a hand gun in the house and asking me if I thought I could shoot someone. With every appointment I kept asking if this pain was expected and they said it was within the time frame for residual pain from the biopsy procedure but it would likely subside soon. Tuesday, I called back and managed to talk one of the nurse practitioners into tweaking his pain meds but she just replaced the Tylenol with some prescription strength Ibuprofen (Advil). It didn't really help much.
But yesterday, we got the latest doctor to take his pain seriously. After a few questions he said we'd given this particular drug (Vicodin) a good enough try and it was time to try something stronger. After taking some of the new pills (oxycodone) at 6pm, a few hours later, he said his pain was down to 3 and he was dozing peacefully and let me snuggle up to him and watch hockey on tv together. A little slice of heaven I tell you.
Unfortunately, at 6am he was chanting 'tractor tractor tractor' for saying 'intractable pain' but hopefully it will subside with the next dose in a few minutes. Please let it help.
There's a tightness in my chest that won't go away. When I cry alone I cry in silent, heaving sobs. Sometimes I give a keening wail, but a quiet, desperate one. It sounds to me like I wail in chords. I get antsy whenever he's out of sight. If he goes for a walk alone, I worry that he'll have another seizure or that he'll fall over since his left side is slightly impaired right now. I just want to kiss him over and over again but he's already physically uncomfortable so I can't always hug and kiss as much as I want to. He's in a lot of pain. I wish I knew how to score stronger painkillers on the street. I don't know why doctors don't prescribe him something stronger like one of those pills that pharmacies are afraid to keep in stock on the premises because people will steal them because they're That Good. When I type, I am somewhat coherent. When I call my friends, I can hold up small talk for just a short while before I start crying. Sometimes I only hold it together long enough to say hi before my voice cracks and I cry again. In person I try to keep up a happy face.
If it hurts me this much just to watch I don't know how he stands it.
But yesterday, we got the latest doctor to take his pain seriously. After a few questions he said we'd given this particular drug (Vicodin) a good enough try and it was time to try something stronger. After taking some of the new pills (oxycodone) at 6pm, a few hours later, he said his pain was down to 3 and he was dozing peacefully and let me snuggle up to him and watch hockey on tv together. A little slice of heaven I tell you.
Unfortunately, at 6am he was chanting 'tractor tractor tractor' for saying 'intractable pain' but hopefully it will subside with the next dose in a few minutes. Please let it help.
There's a tightness in my chest that won't go away. When I cry alone I cry in silent, heaving sobs. Sometimes I give a keening wail, but a quiet, desperate one. It sounds to me like I wail in chords. I get antsy whenever he's out of sight. If he goes for a walk alone, I worry that he'll have another seizure or that he'll fall over since his left side is slightly impaired right now. I just want to kiss him over and over again but he's already physically uncomfortable so I can't always hug and kiss as much as I want to. He's in a lot of pain. I wish I knew how to score stronger painkillers on the street. I don't know why doctors don't prescribe him something stronger like one of those pills that pharmacies are afraid to keep in stock on the premises because people will steal them because they're That Good. When I type, I am somewhat coherent. When I call my friends, I can hold up small talk for just a short while before I start crying. Sometimes I only hold it together long enough to say hi before my voice cracks and I cry again. In person I try to keep up a happy face.
If it hurts me this much just to watch I don't know how he stands it.